Control Freak!!!!

Do you ever think that you can be the exception to the rule? Not necessarily get away with things, but they some how your sense of control is soooo great and powerful that you can just will yourself to do or not do something?!?

Well unfortunately I fall under this category... I am now entering my 4-6 month expanding and "in between" being cute and really preggo stage! And I feel great and am so blessed to be healthy so I am in NO way complaining it is just so funny as you  hear people go through things you think "oh that will happen to me" or "I'll figure out a way for it NOT to happen to me".

I'm in a a really great spot with all of these amazing women and mommies as friends around me who have been great mentors and then one of my best friends is literally due 4 weeks before me so I feel like I am cheating on the "preggo test" by getting all the answers, haha!

For the last 4 months I have been super lucky that the only thing that has grown on me are my belly and my boobies (yeah for a C haha JK in a major way). Starting at week 13 the baby really begins to grow and then literally doubles in size between weeks 15-20. And in the past 2-3 weeks I have really started to see my body change. It's so cool to me (and I know it won't be so cool in the  next few weeks haha) to experience this first hand and just stand naked (yeah gross don't picture it) in front of the mirror and just look how my body is changing to keep this little nugget safe! As a friend of a friend said, which was really funny at the time but so cool and true, "I am supplying [my family] with another life" I am that is cool. And as my husband and friends have to keep reminding me... technically my one job is to keep Myself and Baby safe and healthy... Literally!


I have to keep reminding myself that it doesn't mean I'm "weak" if I have to rest for 20 minutes. Or to ask for help... that is such a hard one. I took two big steps this week... when my friend was in town I was having these stomach pains and she kept wanting to help and I kept not letting her basically and then finally I was like OK let her help, you gotta get used to this because no matter what I think I am going to NEED it when baby comes! And then I also gave up some control with work and delegated responsibility to others and it automatically felt like a burden had been lifted off my chest!

That being said... even though you feel great, look great, etc. we're women and it's still "hard" to see your face fill out or whatever is growing on you at that moment. Being a small chested woman who prides herself on rarely having to wear bras, these bigger ladies are getting in my way and are taking some time to get used to. But very in a non-ED way... it's cool to think, yeah this is a PITA maybe and they are sore, but they will hopefully supply my child with food to grow and antibodies to help it's little immune system and that is just so cool!

This whole experience has really taught me that is NOT about control.. you just HAVE to give up that control and embrace each moment because it TRULY TRULY is about attitude.... keeping positive and seeing the bright side on everything or seeing the light at the other end of the tunnel is what is truly important!